Missing Brenan

During the light of day, I can face the world with a smile on face and can feel my brother's spirit filling me with warmth. I can't help but feel a little like a superhero - I have a guardian angel, a constant reminder of the promises I made to Brenan that need to be fulfilled, including being strong and picking up where he left off in trying to make this world a better place.

But what seems like never-ending power and bottomless energy during the day, dissipates into weakness and overwhelming sorrow under the dim light of the stars. It's the quiet of the night at the end of the day when I miss my brother so much it hurts. I am even more saddened when I think about the pain of my family, of Brenan's friends, of a community that is missing an outstanding citizen. I am no longer a superhero, but a tired human, struggling to make it through the night, frustrated by the fate that has befallen.

But a new day will come tomorrow for us, the lucky ones, and we each can face this day as a changed person - changed by Brenan, having known him, going through this experience with him, and knowing what we can do to carry on his legacy. I couldn't do this without the support of all our family and friends. I am overwhelmed with how much love came out of this period of pain.

The memorial service on Saturday could not have been more special and perfect, a tremendous reflection of a great man. Thank you to everyone who spoke about Brenan and painted a vivid picture for us to remember, and for those who had not even met Brenan to know him as if they did. We made Brenan proud - good memories, good music, good praises.