Almost 1 Year

I know it's been awhile - but I have not wanted to officially sign off quite yet. I will still blog from time to time. Hopefully will not let almost 4 months go by like I did.

I was walking Piper this morning and letting my mind wander, like I always do, and my thoughts turned to Brenan, like they always do. It's been almost one year since my brother passed. It feels like it was just yesterday, to tell you the truth. When someone so close to you dies, it's as if time stands still - it doesn't matter that so many days have passed, the loss is still there feeling as fresh as it did on May 25, 2009. The gaping wound that was left in my heart when he died is still there. It's trying to heal, it really is... but then I pick at the scab and it starts to bleed again. I think of Brenan before he was diagnosed, missing my strong big brother acting like a goofball and annoying me. I think of our time in the hospital and seeing him get weaker and weaker. Memories float all around me from different times in our life every single day and I find new things to be sad about - or sometimes something to smile about. And I know that as years go by, my wound will not be as deep. It will still be there, it just won't hurt quite as bad. I won't think of my brother every hour - maybe just a couple times a day. But it's this transition and healing that makes me even more sad.

This is Jess...signing off

Well, I guess that it's kind of obvious...I'm really out of things to say here on this blog. I'm pretty sure that I've posted all the videos and information I can think of--and the idea of just posting random stuff about my life seems rather self-indulgent.

That being said, I am signing off the blog. It's been an amazing journey of emotions. The support provided through comments has been extremely uplifting and helpful to me in my healing. Thanks to all who have followed the blog and supported our family through love and grief.

Stay tuned to see if Elisa decides to continue posting...

Many thanks and lots of love to all! Jess

PS: I may be launching a new blog about education. I am very interested in local advocacy efforts regarding the cuts to state funding for education programs (cuts to Early Childhood Block Grant, the Gifted Grant, and Full-Day Kindergarten). I will probably be launching a blog about this shortly. It is not likely to interest anyone outside of education, but I will post the address here whenever I decide to launch.

State of the Union Info

Hey all! The "State of the Union" was really terrific tonight. Here's a link to the main points if you missed the speech. State of the Union--Comments Summary

Here's also some video clips posted on CNN. Video of the "State of the Union" Speech.

Splash's pond upgrade

Well...not much to tell around here. It's been raining and crazy storming here in Arizona though. There were even tornado warnings yesterday! Splash wanted me to share his pond upgrade with everyone...an infinity pool (overflowing actually!)

Clean Air Act--Update

Just a little more info: I've been getting a lot of emails from the listserves I belong to so I looked into the amendment a bit further. Here's the text for the Murkowski Amendment (it's less than 2 pages). Check it out and make your voice heard using the link in previous post.

By the way, I also found this information about Lisa Murkowski's acceptance of contributions from Coal companies. Check it out...a whopping $253,000 since 2003. Sourcelink here.

Clean Air Act--protect the EPA

Well, I rarely post anything remotely political and would certainly never want to offend anyone. However, I feel that this is an important environmental issue that transcends politics and should concern us all. On January 20th, Congress is voting on an amendment that contains a rider which will limit EPA's enforcement funding for the Clean Air Act. The bill itself is likely to pass...unfortunately carrying this rider with it. HERE is information about the proposed changes to EPA. HERE is a WSJ article about it from back in December. (And HERE is information from Lisa Murkowski's press release confirming her involvement. Don't be confused by deceptive wording about "limiting government" here--these are just buzz words. The intention is to limit the EPA by suspending some powers of recent Clean Air legislation.)

Most Americans don't realize how much coal is actually burned in the United States. Click HERE to read true information about coal in the US. Americans think about coal being burned in China...not here. But there is much information to be learned about coal in this country, the pollution it adds to the environment, and the reason why the US continues to be "behind" in adopting greener policies. Bottom line? America has a lot of coal resources and Big Coal companies are making a lot of money. Sadly, Big Coal companies fund many political campaigns in order to influence politicians. Don't think so? Look right HERE.

American activism might one day encourage politicians to revise our environmental policies. Until then, click HERE to sign a petition to encourage your local congressmen to vote against a bill that limits the power of the EPA. (This part only takes a second).

PS Hopefully, I've found good facts in putting this together. If anyone has more info about this pro/con, I hope that you'll post it in the comments section by clicking below. Thanks!

The Search for Happiness

Hello cyberland! Hope that everyone is having a good New Year. Being done with Grad School is amazing! I've been doing my best to goof off: playing guitar everyday, finishing art projects, renting movies, catching up on recent news, spending time with friends, reading quality literature, getting to the gym, and promising myself that I'll practice some piano at some point, too! Sigh. This was my first typical weekend that was homework free. I still have that nagging feeling like I should be doing something else...it's great to finally have some freedom to do the things that I want ;)

My ASU job starts up again in a week. I'm grading two classes this semester and definitely looking forward to the ongoing stimulation of reading OTHER people's homework and papers! (with no deadlines hanging over my own head) I got paired up with my very favorite professor from the Early Childhood program: Billie Enz. She runs amazing, challenging classes that are well-designed to apply to everyday practices. She also showed me much kindness, flexibility, and genuine caring as I was trying to get homework/papers completed while living in the hospitals. I am looking forward to the opportunity to continue working with her! Yea ;)

I wanted to share a really great messsage from church last week. It's about happiness and completely sums up my happiness theory: I choose to be happy. It's a great message. Hope that you get a chance to listen--and that people enjoy when I post this type of stuff.

"THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS"--Brian T. Anderson, 1/3/10 (Audio and Notes)

xoxo Jess

Minnesota Christmas Pics... as promised!

Minnesota Christmas Pics... as promised!

I heart Baltimore ;)

Well, there is no doubt about it...I left my heart in Baltimore. Not only was it great time with my dear friends Kristy and Robert (who I don't get to see nearly enough and miss all the time)...but their 14 month old son certainly swept me off my feet! Robert D is such an amazingly smart little guy and he is so much fun to be around. It would be hard to say if the four of us had more fun sight-seeing or relaxing at home. For me, it was the perfect combination. Hanging with Kristy and the Roberts was a much needed repose from the craziness of the last year.

We spent our first full day in Washington DC. It was really impressive to see such iconic historical landmarks in person. There were holiday decorations everywhere, enhancing the spirit and making it especially fun. And, we were fortunate to have absolutely beautiful weather that day!

The rest of the days, we spent a lot of time in downtown Baltimore. It's about a fifteen minute (relaxed) walk from Kristy & Robert's house. There were some windy and rainy days that somewhat halted our ambitious plans, but we were pretty happy hanging around the house chatting and playing with Robert D. We went for a lot of walks and took advantage of the fun places to eat in the neighborhood and near the harbor. New Year's Eve was rainy (or "misty" as they call it there) so we hung around inside until a few minutes before midnight. Then, we hiked up to Federal Hill to watch the fireworks in the harbor. It was beautiful for about 15 minutes and then we high-tailed it home where it was warmer.


So, I am already happily dreaming of the next trip to Baltimore. Until then, I've got a pretty good plan for getting Robert D to Arizona (see below! ;)

See all my photos and notes by clicking on this link here: BALTIMORE PHOTO ALBUM.

Alaska Photos

Alright--don't be too surprised when these photos don't look like Baltimore! ;) I am trying to show some self-restraint in posting these photos first before I upload and post a link to the Baltimore photos (which is what I really want to do right now!) I've been needing to post the Alaska photos for so long! Now that I finally have some time, I am determined to share them first.

You may remember way back to the summer when Elisa and I got to go and see our Aunt Lavonne, Uncle Fred, and their family in Alaska. It was an amazing trip and these photos prove it! Enjoy.

ALASKA SLIDESHOW LINK

More about Baltimore tonight or tomorrow ;)